What can I do when my loved one is suicidal?
9/30/26 | By: Emily Jeffers
Having someone that you love and care about tell you that they are thinking about suicide can be incredibly frightening. In addition to wanting to help them, you might feel scared, panicked, upset, and even angry. All of these emotions are a normal response to you being worried about someone’s safety. One of the most nerve-wracking parts of hearing a loved one talk about suicidality may just be wondering if there is anything you can do to help them. While there are a few things that you might be able to do or say, it is very important to remember that if anyone is actively planning to hurt themselves, they must receive professional care as soon as possible. We will explore these resources more in-depth later on, but for immediate assistance, please reach out to the national suicide helpline at 988 or call 911 to be connected with local emergency services.
What if you suspect someone is suicidal but they have not yet told you?
Sometimes learning the warning signs for suicide risk can help you determine whether or not someone is safe and if it would be helpful to ask them more about their safety. Here are some things to look out for if you are worried a loved one might be considering suicide:
Talking about suicide or wishing to be dead
Talking about not wanting to wake up, wishing they had not been born, or similar statements
Suddenly acquiring weapons or other means of suicide, such as a large number of medications, drugs, or alcohol
Sudden or frequent mood changes or changes in eating or sleeping patterns
Frequent isolation or feeling like a burden to others
Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or guilt
Increase in “risky” behaviors, including drug or alcohol use, dangerous driving, or other behaviors that could cause harm
Giving away belongings or mentioning what will happen to belongings after death
Saying or writing goodbyes to people
What can you do if you find out that a loved one is suicidal?
As a loved one of someone who is suicidal, you might be wondering, “What can I do to help?” Supporting your loved one is going to be a very important part of their care and recovery, and it is important to remember that professional mental health care should be a priority as well. Here are some ways you can support someone you care about as their friend or family member:
Listen: One of the best things that you can do for your loved ones when they confide in you that they are thinking of hurting themselves or that they are feeling suicidal is to listen to them. It is important to try to hear what they are saying to you, and let them know that you are there for them. Telling people that they can talk to you, and then actually letting them talk, can be an incredible way to support someone.
Validate emotions: Try your best not to make your loved one’s experiences or emotions about anyone else, including you. Let them know that you hear them and you are doing your best to understand, even if you don’t completely. Ask them questions and let them know that their thoughts and feelings do not change the way that you think and feel about them.
Ask questions: It is important to remember that asking a question about suicide is not going to make somebody decide to act on suicidal thoughts. It is okay to be direct and specific. Oftentimes this gives a person an opportunity to talk openly about difficult topics that they otherwise might not have the space to talk about. Ask your loved one what is going on in their life and how they’re managing stress and coping. Ask them if they have thought about hurting themselves or killing themselves. If someone does say they have thought about these things, it is important to ask them if they have thought about how they might do it and when they might do it. It is also important to ask if the person has access to weapons or other items they might want to use to hurt themselves. If they have and do, it might be time to seek out professional crisis services.
Offer solutions/next steps: Let people know that they are not alone, and that there is help. Let them know about some of the resources mentioned below, and ask if they need help accessing them.
Identify reasons to live: Sometimes helping a person come up with a couple of reasons they might want to live can be helpful. These can be longer-term items, such as watching their child or another family member grow up. They can also be as simple as wanting to watch a new movie that is coming out next week, or a music artist that is going on tour soon. Anything that might make someone want to live long enough to access treatment and begin the recovery process can be helpful.
Professional Resources for Suicidality
There are many crisis resources available for individuals who are actively planning to hurt themselves that are immediately available. Sometimes you might have to call for help even if your loved one has asked you not to; however, it is important to remember that their life and their safety is what comes first in these moments. They might be mad at you for not listening to them if you do have to call for help, but that might also be what keeps them alive. You and your loved one can talk about how it made both of you feel after they are safe. Some helpful resources for immediate risk of suicide:
988: Calling or texting the number “988” at any time will connect you with a crisis helpline where someone will be able to offer immediate assistance, 24/7.
911: Calling emergency services at any time will allow for the police to be dispatched to your location to complete a wellness check and/or transport someone to the hospital if necessary.
Mobile crisis units: Many counties within the United States offer a service where mental health professionals can accompany the police on a call to provide mental health support. When calling 911, you can ask if your county has these resources and request that they be dispatched to your location if they do.
Hospital Emergency Department: If it is safe to do so, you can transport your loved one to the closest emergency room, where they will be able to meet with a mental health professional who can assess their safety.
The Trevor Project: For LGBTQ+ youth (ages 13-24) in crisis, the Trevor project offers their own crisis resources on their website, via text by texting “START” to 678-678, or via phone by calling 1-866-488-7386. They can also assist deaf and hard of hearing individuals using TTY by calling 1-866-803-3699.
In addition, after an individual has received some type of crisis intervention care, it is important that they get connected with longer-term professional care. There are several options that may be beneficial to someone based on their needs.
Inpatient treatment: Inpatient treatment for suicidality typically occurs in a hospital setting and requires the individual to stay at the hospital 24/7 for a certain number of days or weeks while they participate in various therapeutic interventions..
Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP): PHP’s are programs that are also typically held at a hospital, but involve someone going to the hospital during the day for various therapeutic interventions and appointments, and then returning to their home in the evenings. Many programs offer in-person and virtual options and can last a few weeks or months.
Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP): IOP’s are programs that also typically take place within a hospital setting, but are less time-intensive than a PHP. An IOP is often a half-day program of therapeutic interventions. Many programs offer in-person and virtual options and can last for a few weeks to months as well.
Outpatient Therapy: Outpatient therapy can offer various levels of support and is often the most long-term part of care after completing one of the options described above. What is needed from outpatient therapy, including length and frequency of appointments, is usually determined by the outpatient therapist and the individual attending therapy.
Medication management: Medications to help manage symptoms can be prescribed by a psychiatrist at any level of care and are typically a crucial part of treatment in hospital programs. Sometimes, after treatment and symptom stabilization, individuals can meet with just their medication prescriber to maintain a healthy medication regimen and check in about symptoms without engaging in other forms of treatment.
How to Take Care of Yourself as a Support
While being there for your loved one is important, you will also need support in this time. Do not hesitate to reach out to your other friends and family and let them know how you are feeling. Make sure that you are engaging in healthy coping skills and taking the time to meet your own needs. It may also be helpful for you to seek out professional support if you feel like that would benefit you. It is okay to feel stressed out, anxious, angry, sad, and more regarding your loved one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. You deserve a space to express those emotions and feel supported just as much as they do.
If you’re supporting someone through a mental health crisis, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to navigate the situation alone. Professional guidance can provide a safe space to process your own concerns, better understand how to support your loved one, and explore options for ongoing care. Contact Monarch Wellness or Schedule a Consultation to learn more about available therapy and support options.