Pregnancy and Your Relationship with Your Body and Food
6/10/26 | By: Mary Blair Holden
Pregnancy is the time in life when the body has the most change in the shortest amount of time. It impacts every aspect of the body and even changes in the brain. The emotional and physical toll of pregnancy can be a trigger for disordered eating and negative body image especially for those with an eating disorder history.
Pregnancy is one of the greatest examples of dialectics which is when two opposing thoughts, emotions, or experiences can be true at the same time: being grateful for the opportunity to be pregnant and hating the experience, feeling the most connected to your body while also feeling like a stranger in your body, etc. It is ok to have mixed feelings about pregnancy. Let yourself feel all the emotions and talk to your support system, asking them to validate and give you support.
Body image and weight gain
Medical weight gain “suggestions”
Everyone’s weight gain journey in pregnancy is different and every pregnancy is different. It’s possible that you see numbers on the scale from your past that is stressful to you or a number that you’ve never seen before. For someone with a history of an eating disorder this can be especially distressing.
Ask your doctor/nurse to do “blind weights” which is when you step on the scale backwards. If you feel that knowing the number is dangerous for you and that you would be tempted to look for your weight on an appointment summary write up, ask them not to include your weight in your visit summary. Doctors in the US weigh patients during pregnancy more than most other countries, it’s ok to not know your weight!
First trimester-
Taylor Lautner (female, married to Taylor Lautner, actor male) recently talked about her poor body image during her first trimester and how she had never heard anyone talk about body image during the first trimester. The first trimester is difficult on the mind and body for many reasons: morning sickness, food aversions, exhaustion, etc. Something that is often not talked about during the first trimester is body image. The body can start to change shape as soon as one gets pregnant but generally not enough to “look pregnant” to the outside viewer. While there is no rule for when a pregnant person tells others about a pregnancy, many women chose to keep pregnancy private until the end of the first trimester. Concealing a changing body can create further body image distress and distortions. Remind yourself that your body changes are to create a safe environment for a growing fetus while still validating the dialect of feeling uncomfortable; change is hard even if its for a positive reason. There is also no “right time” to start buying bigger clothes/ maternity clothes. Buy the bigger sizes or maternity clothes as soon as it feels helpful to you. There is not a prize for waiting until the second or third trimester. A way to treat your body with respect is by feeling comfortable in the ways you can.
Second and third trimester-
Once you begin to “look pregnant.”
People might start to make comments about your appearance after you begin to look pregnant to the outside viewer. The positive part of me believes this comes from the natural human excitement about babies and new life, however people feel oddly more at ease making comments about a pregnant person’s body than nearly anyone else’s body
A personal anecdote of this is when I was pregnant, at about 20 weeks, I was at a moms get together and within a 30 minute period had one individual tell me I was “huge for only 20 weeks” and another tell me “you look so tiny still!”
In these moments first take a deep breath. Then either set a boundary around not liking comments to be made about your body, or if this doesn’t feel appropriate then remind yourself that these comments are likely not about you at all but about their own historical experience with pregnancy. Again, all pregnancies and bodies are different and amazing.
What will my body be like after birth?
The lack of control or predictability of what the body will look like post birth can be overwhelming. Try to accept the unknown, there is no way in predicting what you’ll look like postpartum. The more you try to predict and become attached to one image the more distressing the unknown becomes. When you find these thoughts entering your head use mindfulness tools. An example of this is ground in the moment by noticing 5 things around you that you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Getting all 5 senses involved through this thought activity requires the mind to be in the current moment vs imagining your future.
Relationship with food and how the body feels physically
Our relationship with our body is far more complex than just what our body looks like. It includes how connected and in tune to it are we: finding purpose in our body, do we treat it with respect, do we trust it, does it feel comfortable or safe?
First trimester (and beyond): fatigue, nausea and food aversions.
Being exhausted and unable to exercise or even do daily tasks commonly leads to frustration toward body and your physical experience. If possible rest your body and cognitively remind yourself that rest is not lazy, but alternatively it is productive and protective for the stage you are in; you are making a full human being.
Food aversions and nausea cause us to feel increasingly disconnected from the body we once knew. The foods you used to love or used to make your body feel good could now do the opposite. This is a phase not your new normal. Eat what you can when you can and validate that this is so hard.
Later pregnancy
Feeling the baby kick and move is a surreal experience. You may never feel so connected to your body as you do when you feel your baby, and it’s also a reminder that your body is no longer just yours. How joyful and disorienting at the same time.
I hope for any pregnant person reading this that you experience a level of physical symptom relief when you enter the second trimester. This can be known as the “honeymoon period”, however some women continue to experience nausea and fatigue throughout the second trimester or the entirety of their pregnancy. Most women experience a level of discomfort, fatigue and even pain toward the end of their pregnancy. Give yourself and your body grace. This is another moment of dialectical thinking; Allow yourself to feel the frustration of the discomfort and see if you can have compassion for your body. Remind yourself that your body is going through a lot. This might looks like placing your hand on your chest and saying “I know you are doing so much, thank you, we are a team.”
Seeking help
If you are struggling with your relationship with your body and food while pregnant, I encourage you to reach out for additional clinical support to a therapist and dietician who specialize in these areas. You don’t have to go through this experience alone.
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