Resolutions: How to Make Them Stick

Starting in December, and definitely January, the term “New Year’s Resolution” gets spoken more and more. A resolution is essentially just a declaration of desired change, or a fancy way to say “goal”. People often set these goals at the start of a new year in hopes of “turning a new leaf” or “starting fresh” as a new chapter of time begins. 

The problem is that about 91% of people do not keep their New Year’s resolutions. The reasons for this vary, but a large percentage of people claim they simply do not want to follow through on the original goal that they set. While not wanting to complete the goal is a valid reason for not doing so, sometimes the resolutions we set just feel like too much and become a daunting task rather than a change we hope to make.

So how can we change this?

How can we set goals that we actually want to achieve and can follow through on? One thing we can do is use something called the SMART goal framework to set our goals. The SMART goal framework helps people set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

So let’s set a goal.

A SMART Goal is Specific

Making a goal specific is exactly what it sounds like. Maybe our starting goal is to “de-clutter the house this year”. That sounds like a good goal, but we need to make that goal more focused. Some good questions to ask in order to increase specificity are: who will be completing this goal? What actually needs to be accomplished? Are there multiple steps to complete?

A good example of turning the original broad goal into a specific goal would be “I will find items I no longer need or want in the house and donate them”. That tells us who is doing this goal (you/me), what is being done (finding unwanted or unneeded things - effectively de-cluttering), and if there are any additional steps (getting those things out of the house by donating them).

A SMART Goal is Measurable

Now that we have a specific idea of what we want to do, how are we going to measure that we are actually doing it? Do you want to get rid of everything in the house or just one thing? Right now we have a good idea of what we want, but no idea how much of it we want. This step of goal making is where we usually add numbers. Let’s start with “I will find 75 items I no longer need or want in the house and donate them”.

A SMART Goal is Achievable

This section of the goal making process is when we think about whether or not our goal is actually attainable. Ask yourself things like: Does this goal already feel overwhelming? Am I stressing about it already? If yes, let's change it to make it a bit more reasonable. Finding and getting rid of 75 items seems like a lot, maybe a better goal would be “I will find 60 items I no longer need or want in the house and donate them”. Decreasing the number of items to get rid of makes this goal feel less challenging and more achievable.

A SMART Goal is Relevant

This step is another check-in of the goal making process. This is where we take a second to ask why are we even making this goal? Does this reflect our morals, values, needs, and desires? Will it make our lives better, easier, more enjoyable?

We do not want to set goals because other people want us to, we want to set goals because they work for US and will be useful for YOU. Maybe you want to clean out the house a little bit because you feel like the clutter makes you more dysregulated, or maybe cleaning is hard for you and it would be easier if you had less things to clean.

Let’s add some language in our goal to reflect the purpose of it. “I will find 60 items I no longer need or want in the house and donate them so that I feel less overwhelmed by clutter and cleaning”.

A SMART goal is Time-Bound

The last step is setting yourself some expectations. A lot of New Year’s resolutions have a time constraint of one-year. That would make our goal look like “I will find 60 items I no longer need or want in the house and donate them by the end of the year so that I feel less overwhelmed by clutter and cleaning”.

However, setting a goal for a year away can feel like a really long time, or a really unachievable time. Sometimes this step can be a useful place to break down our goal into smaller increments.

If I want to get rid of 60 things this year, that seems like a lot, but if I want to get rid of 5 things this month, that seems a lot easier. It’s the same amount of things at our end goal of one year, but it feels easier when we set smaller goals inside of our ultimate goal. Now our goal looks like this: “I will find 5 items that I no longer need or want in the house each month, every month, and donate them by the end of the year so that I feel less overwhelmed by clutter and cleaning”.

After using the SMART goal framework, our goal is the same, but we are a lot more likely to actually get it done. We started with a goal to “de-clutter the house this year” and ended with a multistep goal of “I will find 5 items that I no longer need or want in the house each month, every month, and donate them by the end of the year so that I feel less overwhelmed by clutter and cleaning”. The goal we ended with offers us a lot more guidance and holds us to be a lot more accountable. If you are thinking of making any goals for this new year, try using this framework to see if you can create a lasting change that works better for you!

If you’re looking for support in making - and keeping - your goals for next year, please feel free to reach out for a no-fee, no-commitment consultation with a Monarch therapist. We’re here, and we can help.