Understanding Eating Disorders in Children and Teens: A Parent’s Guide

Eating Disorders | Nutrition Support

May 26

Written By Carissa Hannum

June 9, 2025 | By Carissa Hannum

This is a repost of our blog originally posted in 2020.

Mom standing supportively behind her tween daughter holding a camera, mental and emotional pressures youth are facing today. Counseling at Monarch Wellness can help families, in person or online- in DC, Maryland, Virginia. — Source- Unsplash.com

The Mental Health Pressures Facing Today’s Youth

No matter the cause, more and more children and adolescents are endorsing mental health concerns. When a child or teen finds their way into my office, I’m consistently struck by the magnitude of pressure they face daily. They’re often expected to take advanced classes, complete three to six hours of homework each evening, and participate in numerous sports teams and extracurriculars. During any remaining free time, there’s an unspoken expectation to stay on top of trends to be accepted by their peers.

These constant pressures and demands can leave kids feeling overscheduled, isolated, and without adequate time to share their emotional needs with parents or other supports around them.

In this fast-paced culture, it is very easy to get caught up with wanting to be “good enough” compared to peers, school, and society standards of success. It becomes difficult for children and families to find time to slow down, reflect, process, and respond to emotional needs. As a result, many children and adolescents feel they have the space or time throughout the day to share their needs. Frequently, kids may turn to eating disorder behaviors rather than “burdening others” with their emotional pain and needs.

What Should Parents Know About Eating Disorders?

Eating Disorders Are on the Rise in Children and Adolescents

Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) and other eating disorder behaviors are becoming a consistent threat and plaguing the lives of many youths. These serious conditions can significantly disrupt emotional and physical development.

Eating Disorders Don’t Have a “Look”

Society often paints a picture that eating disorders have a certain “look.” Usually, when people think of eating disorders, they picture someone like Karen Carpenter- a young, underweight female. This stereotype is not only inaccurate but also deeply harmful. Many individuals feel that their symptoms aren’t severe enough or that they aren’t “sick enough” to receive help. But eating disorders don’t have one specific appearance and they don’t discriminate. People of all body types and identities can struggle with disordered eating. Many individuals don’t fit the common stereotype, and their symptoms may not fall neatly into a single, cookie-cutter diagnosis.

Teen in school hallway, depicting that eating disorders such as anorexia bulimia ARFID and binge eating disorder can effect adolescents deeply. — Source- Unsplash.com

Teens and parents should understand that eating disorders can affect children and adolescents of all genders, cultures, races, sexual orientations, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Any child or teen can be at risk for developing an eating disorder or disordered eating behaviors.

Believe it or not, in my professional experience, I’ve worked not only with middle and high schoolers but also with children under the age of 12 who are struggling with disordered eating.

I urge parents to become aware of the warning signs of eating disorders in children and adolescents. If you notice any of the signs listed below, please seek guidance from an eating disorder therapist, dietitian, or medical professional. Early detection is key, it can help prevent serious medical complications and emotional developmental setbacks. Most importantly, early detection can open the door to emotional growth and deeper understanding between parent and child.

Warning Signs of Eating Disorders in Children & Teens

Early intervention is critical. I urge parents to become aware of the warning signs of eating disorders in children and adolescents. If you notice any of the signs listed below, please seek guidance from an eating disorder therapist, dietitian, or medical professional. Early detection is key, it can help prevent serious medical complications and emotional developmental setbacks. Most importantly, early detection can open the door to emotional growth and deeper understanding between parent and child.

Medical Warning Signs

Delayed growth or puberty
Abnormal weight loss or gain
Difficulty gaining weight
Low potassium levels
Low heart rate
Muscle weakness
Frequent bone fractures
Persistent sore throat
Dental issues (e.g., enamel erosion)
Gastrointestinal problems

Emotional and Behavioral Warning Signs

Intense fear of weight gain
Using the bathroom or taking showers after meals
Evidence of purging or excessive bowel movements
Mood changes (e.g., increased isolation, mood swings)
Anger outbursts
Fear of stomachaches leading to restrictive eating
Body image dissatisfaction
Decline in school performance or concentration
Exercising as an emotional outlet
Compulsive or increased exercise, especially after meals
Feelings of guilt after eating

Food-Related Warning Signs

Aversion to specific tastes or textures
Pushing food around on the plate without eating
Hiding or hoarding food
Calorie counting
Restrictive eating during the day with increased intake at night
Secretive behavior around meals
Food “rules” that cause anxiety when disrupted
Limited “safe” foods
Dieting behaviors
Guilt associated with eating certain foods

Environmental Factors That May Contribute

Major life transitions (e.g., moving, changing schools)
Trauma (emotional, physical, or sexual abuse)
Bullying or peer conflict
Academic pressure
Over scheduling
Puberty and body changes
Family stress or conflict
Negative attitudes toward food and body image in the home
Family history of eating disorders or mental illness
Co-occurring mental health conditions

What Causes Eating Disorders in Kids and Teens?

Eating Disorders Are Multifaceted

Eating disorders are complex and multifaceted. There is never just one cause. More often, they are the result of many different “puzzle pieces” that come together to make the eating disorder feel necessary in a child’s life. When I work with a young person, I often focus on understanding what is currently maintaining the eating disorder.

For many children and adolescents, the eating disorder serves as an emotional outlet. It may feel like a way to avoid facing everyday pressures, depression, anxiety, or unmet emotional needs. Eating disorders can offer a false sense of strength and control especially for kids who feel insecure or overwhelmed. Over time, these behaviors become a strong but maladaptive coping mechanism that is not only emotionally damaging but can also be physically dangerous.

Emotional Development and the Pressure to Cope

From early childhood through adolescence, young people go through enormous emotional, physical, and relational changes. They begin to realize they are responsible for their schoolwork, social outcomes, and personal success in academics and extracurriculars. At the same time, they are also navigating the intense physical changes of puberty.

Developmentally, many children and teens haven’t yet acquired the emotional language or tools to describe how it feels to be in their bodies or to express the distress they’re experiencing. When emotions feel overwhelming or unmanageable, and they don’t yet have the skills to communicate what’s going on, an eating disorder can feel like a way to regain control.

Eating Disorders as Emotional Escape

In many cases, eating disorders aren’t just about food, they’re about emotional distress. Your child may be using food, weight, or eating disorder behaviors to avoid confronting their deeper fears, hopes, dreams, rejections, and insecurities. These behaviors offer a temporary escape from the pressures they feel each day.

How Can Parents Support Their Child?

Start with Compassion, Not Blame

With all the ways an eating disorder can manifest, it can feel overwhelming for any parent to know what to do next. It's important not to shut down or avoid the topic out of fear. Just as importantly, try not to blame yourself—even if you worry that your thoughts, feelings, or actions may have contributed to your child’s struggles. Eating disorders are complex and rarely caused by a single factor.

Open Up the Conversation

Your first instinct as a parent may be to jump into problem-solving mode and try to fix all the warning signs. Of course that makes sense, you care deeply about your child! However, sometimes that impulse to fix can unintentionally feel invalidating.

Eating disorders often reflect a deeper emotional need to feel seen, heard, and understood. Instead of rushing to intervene, take a moment to pause. Focus on your child’s emotional distress. Ask about what’s been going on in their world: What’s leading them to feel the need to diet? How are things going with their friends? What emotions have they been navigating lately?

Create Space for Emotional Growth

Your awareness and willingness to approach difficult conversations can make you part of the solution. Gently share the behaviors you've been noticing and invite your child to talk about their experiences. Let them know you’re here not to judge or fix but to truly listen. That alone can make a powerful difference.

Parent and teen hugging after they discussed the emotional disconnection between in their family. Monarch Wellness offers therapy for teens and families, counseling online, in person, Washington DC, Virginia, and Maryland. — Source- Unsplash.com

Eating disorders often create emotional disconnection between a child and their family. One of the best ways to rebuild connection is to give your child the language and space to explore their feelings. Try weaving emotional check-ins into everyday life. Even small actions like regular family meals, weekly family meetings, or five-minute conversations about emotions can help your child begin to name and process what they’re feeling.

You can be an important tool in your child’s emotional development. Modeling emotional communication might feel awkward or unfamiliar at first, but it’s a vital part of your child’s healing and growth.

Reach Out for Professional Support

If you suspect your child may be struggling with an eating disorder- don’t wait to reach out to a qualified professional. An eating disorder therapist, dietitian, or medical provider can help guide the next steps. And remember, it's okay for you to seek your own support as a parent. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Learn More About Eating Disorders and How to Support Your Child

Additional Resources and Blog Posts from Monarch Wellness

If you’d like to explore more about the different types of eating disorders, recovery tools, and ways to support your child or teen, we invite you to check out these helpful blog posts and curated resources from our team:

Support for Parents and Caregivers

Essential Books for Parents & Caregivers of Teens with Eating Disorders
A guide to therapist-approved books that offer insight, education, and practical tools for supporting a teen in recovery.